Lesson #20

    As someone who has a camera roll containing over 10,000 photos (that’s not an exaggeration), I expected myself to be a proponent for pictures. I have thousands of memories taken in many different places and at many different events; however, all of my photos have two things in common: All of the pictures are staged, and all of them are edited. Everytime a picture is taken, it is not with the intention of remembering some specific, important moment-- it is taken with the mindset that this event is something that one would be proud to look back on. So out of those 10,000 pictures I have stored on my phone, how many of them are actually authentic?

    When I went to Europe this summer my parents insisted on taking pictures of “everything”-- and by everything, I mean specific things. I have pictures of the subways, every restaurant we visited, and the sights we saw; and in each one everybody in my family has a plastered smile on their face-- because this is how they wanted to remember the trip. I cannot even bring myself to look through those pictures because most of them are so incredibly fake. The trip was amazing (of course), but my dad is an extremely stressed out traveler-- and in between the smiles we were all very tense. My parents forgot to take a single picture of us all yelling at each other in the hotel rooms as we discussed where we wanted to go; and yet every time something looked “presentable” my parents suddenly remembered their cameras. So how do I look through these photos, and pretend they show the whole truth?  Am I just expected to boil down my entire trip into a few manufactured smiles?

    Now what about the more serious times-- the difficult moments that actually shape us as people. I mean thank God I have pictures of my 8th birthday party, but I don’t think that day has really affected me as a person. If pictures are expected to represent me, then where in these pictures have I developed as a person-- beyond physically? I can look back at photos as much as I want, but they do nothing to show me who I was, and how I have changed. Every single one holds the same facial expression with a different background; so let me ask… where are the pictures that show what I have been through? Who was holding the camera after my head was split open and I had to rush to the hospital? Where are the photographs of me when I had to have brain scans to make sure I wasn’t epileptic, or had a brain tumor? Why are there no pictures of those moments? The answer is because those are times that nobody wants to show the world. We take pictures because one day people will see them, and we all want to pretend that we live perfect, frown free lives. As Susan Sontag would say, “the camera’s rendering of reality must always hide more than it discloses.” By taking these pictures we try to show what we want our lives to be-- not what they are. Nobody takes pictures of the day to day boring moments (the ones that actually show our lives), because that is considered “too boring” to photograph.

    When we look at the pictures everyone posts on instagram, not a single one captures who we are. When I want to post something, my friends and I go have photo shoots--where we put on cute outfits, and make sure our hair and makeup looks good; then we find the perfect location, with the perfect lighting, and take pictures that make us look as “presentable” as possible. Then after these pictures are taken, we edit them to make sure that the entire photo looks absolutely perfect-- as it must be amazing so that others can see. The effect of this is that people become impersonable through anything digital. We look at the profiles of people who appear flawless, which makes us feel like we need to change our own lives-- hence how the cycle has continued. Ultimately this is because we have been fed a lie: a picture cannot really hold a thousand (genuine) words.

Lesson #20: Don’t rely on pictures to remember your past.

Lesson #19

    I wish that I could live a life free of uncertainty; one that could be predicted the same way as your run of the mill, cliche movie-- but that’s not how life works. Life likes to kick us when we are down; it likes to take us by the hand and whip us around until we are so unsure of where we are, that we can barely see straight. So how is it that anyone is expected to live a “doubt free” life? How are we as people who experience pain, hurt, and disappointment supposed to live blind to that fact that there is so much injustice in this world? The truth is, even the most faithful of people must have doubt about life. The only way to be free of a feeling of insecurity is to not be living. In all honesty, doubt is what makes life so exciting-- doubt is what keeps us striving for better. I know that sounds contradictory, but who wants to watch the same cliche movie again and again: not me. Doubt is what makes life, life; when we feel the most insecure, we are at our maximum capacity to grow.

    I personally tend to live in my “safe” box when I can; I love having security, because it was something I was not given when I needed it most. Yet living inside my own little bubble does nothing for me. Giving myself an easy way out only makes my goals fade and my impatience fester. Like most people, when I feel unsure I want to run-- and sometimes I do, but other times I stay along for the ride. When I run, I go to my safe place: my best friend's house. We sit on the couch and watch tv with a pint of ice cream, or take our dogs on long walks through the park. However, as much as I love these moments, I know that they are a way for me to keep myself safe-- my security blanket. When I choose to stay along for the ride and live with insecurity, I find how much potential I have; doubt gave me my first boyfriend, my spot as captain of the soccer team, some of my really close friends, a leadership trip to Switzerland, and the overall amazing feeling that new possibilities come with.

    As William Lyon Phelps said, “I think we ought to entertain our opinions with some measure of doubt.” Viewing doubt as negative is a common misconception; in reality doubt could not serve a greater purpose. If we were to be certain about everything, we would never have to take risks, never step outside our comfort zones, never take a leap to see what we are capable of. Life would be boring, overrated, and easy. Nothing about the world we know is simple, so why should we let ourselves believe it should be? When we feel those knots in our stomach forming, we are doing something right; this feeling is nothing but the world telling us that we are on the right path-- our next adventure. We all need to have a little faith that doubt is serving its purpose. Nobody ever hears about people who grow without facing challenges, nobody succeeds at everything on their first try. Our doubt makes us question what is really important, which ultimately leads us to finding who we are.

Lesson #19: Having faith in everything makes one blind, yet having doubt makes one human.

Lesson #18

    The English language is inherently one of the hardest languages in the world, which is due to the fact that English is basically on odd offspring of other languages. It’s not just our language that is from other countries: it is the culture and the ideologies. Overall we are a place with an immense amount of diversity-- which you would this would make the US easy to adapt to, but in reality it makes it extremely difficult.

    Our diversity can be an amazing thing, seeing as we are able to understand the situations of many other places, and experience other cultures-- yet the drawback is that we are an outsider to other countries. It is amazing that the US can relate to so many different backgrounds, yet we have no established background of our own. This is because we have tried to make the US into a place where all countries come together, rather than focusing our energy on making the US a country of its own. As Charles Krauthammer says, the US is “a world far more complicated and fraught will division.” This is due to the fact that the US has no established past, which makes everything much harder to function. Just think about it, we are trying to combine the ideas of the whole world into one country… now does that even sound remotely plausible? To make the United States a place with no established language or culture is to make a place that cannot stand without the foundation of other countries.

    The United states is weak and lost in the state that it is in; but how can we expect it to be any other way? Has nobody ever thought of the reason why we are always so politically divided? Why every ideology comes with new ideas, and a further divide? The US government goes back and forth between democratic and republican presidents because we can’t makes up our minds, and yet we expect this country to have a sustainable future. Many countries look to the US to be strong and united, yet there is not much we have that unites us all. We all live in the same country, but cannot relate to the experience of others. If we look far enough into our past we all come from somewhere else; I come from Germany, Italy, and Poland, my best friend comes from Lebanon and Poland, my cousins come from Italy and Ireland, and my neighbor comes from China. So what really connects us to each other? Is it the experience that we have had in the United States? Is it our ancestors that came from the same place long ago? There really is no right answer, but we can’t pretend like we never have think about it.

    I think that in order for the United States to really earn the title of “United,” we need to have something that actually unifies us: whether that be an established language, or a united government. We can be a culturally diverse place and easily thrive, we just need to feel like we connect with each other. If we were all to feel banded together, then we could begin to work together to create the United States that we thrive to be. All it starts with is a single commonality.

Lesson #18: To be United, we have to feel like we can relate to each other.

Lesson #17

    I would like to take a moment to consider what the “true nature of life” really is. From the day we are born, we are all trapped in an existence where we are forced to make choices that will define our future. With each year we grow our decisions become more important, adding onto the stress we face. Though this poses the question of what it really means to go through life.

    We start off as babies, with a “vital light” that comes from an innocence and lack of experience with the world. Children are the beautiful creatures that captivate the attention of adults, who usually lack most memory of their early childhood. This is the stage where everything appears to be purely fascinating; the adolescent craves every ounce of knowledge they can absorb. Yet this innocence comes with a certain level of dismissal to their ideas; adults consider themselves wiser than their children, but in reality their mentality is just more clouded. If you think about it, the most well-rounded people are those who are unbiased-- our youth. They have not had the experiences that are able to persuade their views in a certain direction. At this stage they are “nothing but life;” there is world of opportunity ahead of them, and they are the ones who can see it the most clearly.

    As life goes on, these children become adults. Their new found responsibility comes with mountains of stress, and most come to the conclusion that life is “a hard fate.” During this stage their vital light becomes tainted, and the simple joys experienced by children become harder to appreciate. The joys in life begin to come from more superficial things, such as a bonus at work or finding a good sale. Although these things may seem meaningful, they begin to overshadow the natural simplicities that adolescents adore. It seems as if those who choose to ignore the struggles of life are perceived as naive, yet in reality they simply captivate more “vital light” than others. Although adults have physically aged, their mental maturation is what makes them adults. The most significant change they acquire is their view of humanity.

    The final stage is being considered elderly. These are the people who have had the most life experiences, seen the world, know what it is like to be a child and an adult, and are far enough in their lives to see through it all. These people now contain a completely different kind of light. Their vitality may be running low, and their brains are full to capacity, yet many of them often return to the simple joys of life-- though not completely. The encounters they have prevent them from returning to a stage of innocence, though they begin to understand why everything seems so wonderful in the eyes of a child. There is a certain connection that grows between the beginning and the end, one that bonds the hearts of the aged with the hearts of the young; they reach an understanding of what it means to come full circle. This is when the “true nature of life” begins to appear-- even after all these years, the elderly take the time to notice what has been mostly forgotten. The world, although different, returns to its state of beauty. They enjoy the wonders of life that are only temporary-- as they wait for the next stage of life, where they will return to their innocence.

Lesson #17: Beauty and wonder should not be lost with age.

Lesson #16

I myself think I am Las Vegas sometimes. Not because I believe myself to be overly extravagant, but because I often feel like the “world outside.” Right now we all live in this extremely tense atmosphere that is full of people doing everything they can to stand out to colleges. I see my friends running themselves to exhaustion trying to become the most appealing to schools that are terribly hard to get into. Every single friend I have is currently trying to get into the U of M medical school, and frankly I have no such desire. Science has always been my worst subject, and I would never dream of pursuing that as a career. They all stress about their grades in ways that I can never imagine. For that, I always feel like I am doing something wrong. I wake up everyday to go to school with the future doctors of the world, and that makes it incredibly hard to feel like I belong.

All of my life I have been dreaming of being a lawyer, and defending people that have been wronged-- which in itself seems like an incredible career, but yet for some reason so out of the ordinary. As all of my friends have complex conversations regarding DNA, I cannot even begin to grasp these concepts. Yet if you put me behind a podium with something to argue about, I could have the time of my life.

I was helping a friend write a debate the other day, and it finally occurred to me how different my brain works, compared to the brains of my friends. As she sat there trying to work out every ounce of logic, I was thinking about the million different kinds of emotional appeal. I realized that as much as I want to be someone who thinks about nothing but sensibility, I will always be the person who can convince someone's heart before I can convince their brain.

Now I feel like I know Vegas on a personal level. It can never blend in, and it cannot assimilate with the dessert around it; nor can I blend in with the science majors of this world. Vegas is always taken like a joke, the party place of the west-- but nobody understands that it is simply different from everything surrounding it. I may not stress about my grades like everyone else does, but that is because I have to be passionate about something to apply myself to it.

As much as we make fun of Vegas for being one giant party, it is also full of people who seem to be able to make a business out of anything. We underestimate their ability, just like I too underestimate my own. I am surrounded by people who have 4.0 GPAs and who will become the future geniuses of this world, but just because I aspire for something different doesn't mean that I cannot change the world one day too.

Lesson #16: A path is like a fingerprint, no two can be the same.

Lesson #15

    If you think about the concept of the American dream, it sounds extremely far-fetched. It is the idea that this country allows someone to have the freedoms it requires to flourish and create a life for themselves. Although this idealist mindset appears unblemished, the reality is that the United States withholds it’s freedoms in other ways. This nation may be physically free, yet we are also the 3rd most depressed country in the world, and have leading levels in alcohol and drug abuse. So I would like to pose this question; do we glorify the United States?   

    I tend to believe that we have so many mental health issues because people focus on their external appearance and economic status more than we focus on our personal connections, and overall well-being. The lack of time that we spend simply enjoying the beauty of life is something that is pitied by those who spend minimal time obsessing over external values. The United States has a foundation that is based on the idea that “the human body is ugly.” Naturally many people would not admit to this-- yet we spend much of our lives going to the gym so we look in shape, looking at ourselves in the mirror, comparing ourselves to others, judging those around us, judging ourselves, buying beauty products, researching the ways we can change our imperfections, aspiring to be others, and wishing that we could make ourselves perfect. This country may look wonderful on the exterior, but those inside know no such freedom. There is a reason that we look so alluring to outsiders; and that is because all the outsiders see are the billionaires, and the fancy award shows, and the supermodels, and the lavish lifestyle that we all crave. What they miss is all of the people who already live in the US, who are striving to be someone that we can be proud enough to show the rest of the world. In our nation fame and riches are the only way to be well-recognized.

    When I went to Germany this summer, I came back feeling like I had seen the world in a whole new perspective. I have never met people who were as kind or as patient as them. I did not stay in a tourist city, so I am well aware that they were not simply nice to my family because they had to be. I felt more at home there for two weeks, then I ever have here. The people there say hello to each other on the streets, and pay for the meals of those at the table next to them; they walk places rather than speeding in cars; they sit in the park and talk to their neighbors rather than rushing to their phones. They stress the importance of those around them, and their community had the familiar comfort of what a home should feel like. Here I don’t even know the names of my neighbors, and our community has a very “cold comfort.” I find it reassuring that there are others there, but very few of them are involved in my life. We treat our neighbors and our society as purely others who are also trying to survive, rather than being genuinely interested in knowing who they are.

    To outsiders this is what the American Dream is. They simply see economically stable people living in a free country, and they automatically assume that it is a well-rounded place. This is how america is glorified, or might I say simplified. Freedom and wealth do not make up a country-- it is core values that shape it. We may be economically thriving, but the people within are suffering from the mental confinement that has been placed in us. We are all striving for recognition from our society. The American Dream is a very isolating experience. We all hope that one day the people in our lives may “raise a monument” for us, but the only monument most of us receive is the one we are buried underneath.

Lesson #15: It takes a full perspective to fully understand.

Lesson #14

    I find it utterly embarrassing that in society today we would choose to add another car to our collection or buy another pair of diamond earrings, rather than cherish the millions of wonders that surround us on a daily basis. It is as if society can never be satisfied with the provisions that many of us were born with. My fear is that society is already beyond repair, and we will relinquish this world to our future with nothing more than the craving to fill our souls with material possessions. It is sad to say that most of us still want the new iphone, or a shiny new car— when there are people in this world that don’t even have the luxury of a steady income. We tend to forget the importance of mental well-being, and those suffering from poverty. This greedy nature we express is something that will haunt those who fail to realize that a shallow life will never lead to true joy. We think that we can just throw away our problems and replace them with mass-produced items.

    It is not just materials that we discard. Humans seem to have a limited threshold for anything of sentiment. We live in a world where much more than just milk is labeled with an expiration date. Even friendships are often set with a time-limit. I think most of us have those friends that we spend time with purely when we see them fit to our necessity. These would be the school friends, and the workplace acquaintances of the world. We choose to not form these relations further, because we do not rely on emotional connections to fulfill ourselves; we instead are captivated by what we see on store shelves. Just as Eighner said in “On Dumpster Diving,” “Even if I had a home with extensive storage space I could not save everything that might be valuable in some contingency.” The problem is that we seem to mistake the word “valuable” as something purely materialistic. No price tag can be placed on most of the wonders of the world, yet we seem to limit ourselves to be enslaved by objects that can be easily replaced. This is the reason why our country is so wasteful; people have refused themselves to think of the smiles we see on the faces of others as something to treasure. We would not be so careless if we started filling ourselves with mental reassurance, rather than the items that can be held in our grasp. I think it is crucial to understand that a flat screen tv cannot fix a broken heart, and a faster car cannot drive us away from our problems. We instead need to focus on building ourselves as people, not building the mountain of overproduced plastic that we will leave to our families once we are gone. I regret to inform us all that we seem to cherish possessions over physical relationships. The bond of hearts that we make with the real people in our lives should be what fills our homes, not the most expensive china, or the newest surround sound speakers. If we are really limited to the things of value we should keep, then we need to stop buying what will make us temporarily satisfied, and then throwing it away in next week's load of trash. We should all take a minute to remind ourselves that having the most in style clothes will not make us more loved, and maybe then we will stop pining to look presentable on the exterior. I urge us all to stop recognizing ourselves based on how much we own, and begin to see each other based on the quality of our characters.

Lesson #14: Life is about the emotional connections.