Lesson #8

Has anyone else ever wondered why the definition of love varies in different dictionaries. Although they are similar in each, they vary from, "an intense feeling of deep affection" (Oxford Dictionaries), to "strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties" (Merriam-Webster). Although the differences are slight, an entire mountain of confusion can arise from the differences. The second definition seems to completely call out the idea of "love at first sight" as false. Yet the first definition leaves that up for interpretation. In Song of Solomon the idea of love was questioned. The idea of love being about consistently caring about someone was rarely reciprocated between lovers. "It is about love. What else but love? can't I love what I criticize?" (pg. 282). Isn't the idea of love to respect rather than criticize? Can someone ever feel so intensely about another to disregard any flaws that could lead to criticism? This makes me question how people view love in general. Can there really be a dictionary definition of love if the concept itself varies from person to person? Ruth and Macon were never in love in general, their marriage was full of spite and resentment. Milkman was never in love with Hagar, yet near the end of the book it seemed as if he was in love with the world around him. Yet in certain definitions of love it does not seem to include the idea of loving inanimate objects. Even between Pilate, Reba and Hagar, the idea of love is questioned. Hagar was handed everything she wanted on a silver platter, and Pilate and Reba delivered anything she desired without as much as a complaint. Although the idea of giving somebody everything they need seems like love, it also seems like the longing for affection. Through out the novel it seemed as if Pilate and Reba were searching for validation from Hagar; they seemed constantly obsessed with the idea of making Hagar happy, as if Hagar's happiness was directly proportional to their own. This need seemed like a validation that the two needed from Hagar, rather than love. In the end of the story there was never any conclusions drawn about love; we never once witnessed a happily ever after where anybody was in love for the rest of their lives. I think a lot of the reason love was viewed the way it was is because love is very hard to describe, and almost impossible to write on paper. Although myself feeling to naïve to sit here and dissect the true meaning of love, I can conclude that the dictionary should not include a definition of it. Emotions are one of those things that seem to delicate to define. A feeling is not something that can be passed on from person to person. Defining the idea of love limits the possibilities that such a delicate concept holds. Love is different for everyone, and I think it is only fair if we let everybody have their own definitions.
Lesson #8: Not everything can be defined.